


Stay

by SaphireKnight



Series: Moments in between... [5]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 半妖の夜叉姫 | Hanyou no Yashahime | Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Epic Love, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Grief, I Will Go Down With This Ship, SessRin is canon, Sesshōmaru is not a God, Slowest slow burn, Soulmates, True Love, True Mates, and this lesson was brutal, but he did, don't worry Rin makes everything better, he never thought he would have to suffer her death, sorrow and compassion, this is Sesshōmaru's lowest point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaphireKnight/pseuds/SaphireKnight
Summary: “There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it.”― Ranata SuzukiHe couldn't save her. He lost her...Rin.. please...don't...The one where Sesshōmaru must face his greatest fear… failure.The night after Rin's second death.Series of oneshots, the moments in between what is seen in the anime. Defining interactions between the soulmates of the great DaiYōkai and the human that changed his destiny. An exploration of how Sesshōmaru fell in love with a human, ultimately defying all that he thought to be true, finding his greatest power through his salvation, Rin.
Relationships: Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Series: Moments in between... [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102229
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> This moment takes place the night after Rin's second death (Final Act episode 9) and the consequent grief Sesshōmaru suffers from almost losing her...

* * *

_Buh-bump..._

Pain.

_Buh-bump..._

Anger.

_Buh-bump..._

Despair.

_Buh-bump..._

Fear.

_Buh-bump..._

Disgust. 

_Buh-bump..._

Sorrow.

_Buh-bump..._

Grief....

No... Don’t... You can’t ... I _forbid_ it... _NO._ I won’t allow it.... I promised... I was a fool... I will not fail again... I can’t... _Forgive me..._

He was suffering. 

_Good,_ he deserved to suffer. Deserved to suffocate, to drown, to be impaled, to feel every torturous stab repeatedly piercing his already hemorrhaging heart. The misery was still not enough to absolve his sins. Nothing ever could. Nothing could ever repay the cost of that which he inadvertently sacrificed. Nothing would ever be worthy. _Nothing_. 

_Buh-bump..._

Righteousness.

_Buh-bump..._

Divinity.

_Buh-bump..._

Sanctuary.

_Buh-bump..._

He was undeserving of its grace.

_Buh-bump..._

The only sound sustaining his survival.

_Buh-bump..._

The only thing keeping his spirit from succumbing to its rightful damnation into eternal persecution.

_Buh-bump..._

He vowed he would never cease his worship of that sound. 

_Buh-bump..._

I will do anything.

_Buh-bump..._

Please.

_Buh-bump..._

_Don’t…_

Sleek eyelashes feathered across velvet cheeks, caressing that which he dared not. The sight of her lying there, eyes closed, was so similar to the image that would besiege him forever, he could scarcely overcome the urge to scream in agony. Roaring his perennial despair into the night would still be but a diaphanous brume to the depth of his torment. The benevolent beating, denied substantiation of horrors unspeakable. Horrors that were very nearly inexorably actual. He would never forgive himself. 

Gazing upon her features, their simplicity betrayed the majesty of their enchantment, as if attempting to conceal the truth, one that would never be tergiversated again... She was the most _beautiful_ thing he had ever seen in the whole of his existence. His eyes could not help but linger on the subtle pink of her rounded lips, measuring each breath passing through. His heart began to race as an excruciating _pain_ throbbed at an disenable degree. _Fear_ of one day never being tantalized by the radiance of her smile, threatened abolition. 

_NO!_

It will not be. It will never be. Her light will never fade. The bell of her delighted laughter will always chime. The spell of her endless brown eyes will bewitch his soul for eternity, infinitely wielding their mystical power of conquest and consolation. He will not let it be. He will never let _her_ go. 

Except, he did. 

He lost her. He _failed._ He could not save her, and without her... there was nothing. _He_ was nothing. He proved that which he secretly feared… he was unworthy. Unworthy of her brilliance, her warmth, her generosity, her serenity, her admiration, her faith, her _trust_. 

His pride and disillusionment blinded him to his own limitations, arrogantly disgracing the fragility of her ethereal presence by his side. The purity of their connection, the depth in which her soul _yearned_ as equally as his, the absolute belonging they had found, deluded him into believing nothing could sever that which was unequivocal. She was his, just as he was hers. He would never let her go, and so she never would. He had claimed her soul. It could _never_ be taken from him. His moronic ignorance nearly destroyed them both… _Ahhh!_

Pain… anger… despair… fear… revulsion… sorrow… grief...

_Rin_ ... _please_... 

The light of his universe perforated the abyss of his anguish. Two sleepy eyes opened, instantly clearing to complete awareness, as they locked intimately with his searing stare. Solace seeped into his wretched heart, cradling the devastated organ with a tenderness that could only come from the balm of her Elysian essence. He was ignoble of her comfort. It was abhorrent that after his iniquity his soul still savagely sought her soothing waters, parched as it was by a thirst only she could quench. It should be _he_ kneeling before the beneficence of her being, offering all that he was, all that was within his power to attain, _anything_ at all, in repentance for his defalcation. 

How could he be such an ignoramus? How could he be so _weak_? How could he allow his selfishness covet the peace her spirit brought him, in exchange for the defilement of her protection? How could the fear of _emptiness_ returning, if he did not bask daily in her incandescence, rationalize significance over the sanctity of her safety? He was a _cur._ An egotistical hound that had nearly let that which was most exquisite, seraphic... _precious_ slip through his fingers, consequentially ripping away the quintessence of his existence. He had never felt such shame. 

And yet even now, he did not display the _dignity_ of averting his eyes from her magnificence, but instead drank in every aspect of her beauteous virtue. He truly was weak, powerless to vanquish the _need_ that was the very cause of his destruction. Stronger than any lust for power, worth more than any _fang_ vouchsafed as in accordance to his birthright… this _need_ was irrevocably intrinsic to the core of his being. He could not overcome it. He could not fight it. It was incontestable in its infinity. He _needed_ _her_. 

_Rin_ … _please_ … _don’t_ …

His eyes desperately tracked the subtle rise of her head, followed by her torso, hoisted by the support of a delicate hand bracing the ground. In this position, somewhere between her original laying and properly sitting up, she stilled. Eyes glittering with the flares of magic, her gaze penetrated with the potency of her supremacy, once again seeing _all_. Seeing all of him. He wished he could hide, shield her from the hideousness of his incompetence, his infirmity. For once he rued being recipient of her mystical gaze, knowing that which she would find could only inspire detestation… 

Pain… despair… fear… sorrow… grief… 

The realization that she would never see him again as she once did, never look at him as if he were invincible, believe in his ascendancy, trust in his prowess, find him fascinating, think him _beautiful_ … _hurt_. _Ahhh!_ He can’t… it _hurts_ … _please_ …

With the otherworldly elegance of a sprite, she ascended silently, undisruptive to the still slumbering ningen and yōkai huddled around the dwindling embers of their fire. Anticipation of the irreparable devastation her scorn would elicit was torturous, but like the masochist that he was, nothing could steal his focus away from the nymph determinedly stalking towards him. She did not cease in her adamant advance until the _burn_ of her proximity made all else disappear. Her entrancing eyes tunneled his vision. Her sweet breath fanned his face, tingling his trembling lips. 

She was everywhere. She was everything. His soul could not resist her siren call. _She_ , who had prevented him from forever wandering a meaningless existence. She, who gave him reason, motivation, gifted him his first real sense of clarity. She ignited his fascination, shocking him out of his monotony with her incomprehensible intrigue. She lit the flames scorching his veins, revealing that he did indeed _feel_ , and that he was not stone. He could burn. He could hurt. He was alive. _She_ made him alive. She was the light in the eternal darkness of his self destined misery, promising the potential of a fate woven as one of _purpose_ instead. She set him free. She bound him everlastingly. She was his despair. She was his hope. She was his eradication. She was his _salvation_. 

Just when his self loathing could no longer withstand the closeness of her mystique, the universe exploded as he was enveloped in her embrace. 

He was paralyzed by the thunderbolt of her glorious attack, senses overloaded with the sensation of _all_ of her caressing him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, fingers threading his silver locks as if their nimbleness were designed solely to do so. Her thundering heart beat bypassed the rigidity of his armor, its pounding resonating within him as if the barricade between their pressed chests did not exist at all. The slight brush of bare skin, exposed by the hem of her kimono, upon his obi teased the fabric’s felicitousness. Her hasty ensnare placed her unbridled feet upon mokomoko where it rested alongside his hip, now delightedly roused by dainty toes petting its avaricious fur. 

Sesshōmaru’s body was satirically stunned as his senses scrambled, deliriously trying to discern which was the most startling of the simultaneous sensations. If survival beyond this inimitable moment was believed possible, recognition of the irony of his _nose_ winning out would have been permissible. As it were, no such reflection transpired. Percipience faded away, as he succumbed to the stimulus of her _scent_. He was consumed by it. Her essence saturated his air, as fragrant raven tresses smothered his nostrils, tickling down past his mouth and chin... 

_Honey crispness of morning dew_ … _sun kissed_ _floral sweetness… ambrosial equanimity… home…_

_Rin._

Paradise... peace... palliation… he deserved none of it. 

His conscience raged against his body, ferociously battling against the sublimity of her touch, sickened by the injustice of it’s benefaction. Physically shaking with strain, the great DaiYōkai summoned all the strength he possessed, militantly striving to command his body to push her away. She pressed closer still. 

‘It’s okay… everything is okay now. I’m right here.’ 

_Warmth_ , the golden glow of their bond flooded her assurance, intoxicating in it’s exoneration. He couldn’t… he mustn't… he was unbefit to receive such compassion. 

‘It’s alright… I’m alright… let me in… _please_...’

Her plea broke him, he would deny her nothing. All resistance shattered, as her light preponderated affirmation, transcending all suffering, his soul surrendered to its sovereign. 

_‘Rin…’_

With all the desperation that had poisoned his blood since the moment he realized she was lost to him forever, his body engulfed hers, crushing her slight frame to his own in supplication that they never be separated again. He held her as tightly as he dared, terrified he might fracture the fragile delicacy in arm, _needing_ it more than he would ever comprehend. His heart could no longer withhold its cry, the euphoric feel of having her, here, safe, alive... _perfect,_ magnified the fear of losing her exponentially. 

_‘Please don’t leave me… ’_

“Sesshōmaru-sama…” 

Her stunned whisper sent a sulphurous shiver through his whole body, as his breathed name caused her lips to _brush_ the tip of his pointed ear. Something primal awoke, demanding he promulgate his eternal fidelity. Instinctively he pulled her in closer. The connection of their bond blazed, relishing in the radiating pulses of their souls intertwining. Time evaporated as they surrendered to the preeminence of their immersed sensations…

Reverence… humility… acceptance... forgiveness... adoration. 

Too soon he felt her shift. He reluctantly slackened his grasp allowing her freedom of movement while preserving her proffered nearness. Graciously, she did not mean to take her warmth away, but wished to entrance him further with the penetration of her wondrous eyes. 

There was nothing within him that desired to fight that which was true, that which her eyes made resolutely clear, that which he would never deny again.

All that he was, belonged to her. 

A wave of shame crashed back, as the image of her beautiful eyes remaining closed, despite the severity of his call, plunged him once more into darkness. He failed her. He desecrated the trust of her fealty. He did not protect that which he held most dear. He let her be stolen away… he lost her… no… he can’t… _please… don’t..._

‘Sesshōmaru-sama, look at me. I’m right here! You did not lose me. You can never lose that which is yours, that will _always_ be yours.’ 

Thousands of refutes caught on the tip of his tongue, ready to assault her omitting sanction but he was instantly stilled . The fiery scorch of her hands, gently cupping his face, commanded placidity, eyes berating his attempted interruption. 

‘I will never regret my choice to follow you, for it is mine. I would have it no other way. Even if I were to perish this instant, I would be at peace knowing I was where I belonged. My soul is yours and always will be. I know you Sesshōmaru-sama, I can _feel_ you... can you feel me?’ 

Despite possessing inherent certainty of his reply, her eyes demanded he answer her inquiry. He adhered with complete honesty.

‘Yes, I can feel _you._ ’ 

The resplendence of her smile cleansed the sinister currents of his defeatism, repairing each shredded tare of his soul with her luminous altruism. His eyes feverishly widened as the loveliness of her face suddenly drew in closer. His breath helplessly caught, at the feel of her forehead gently resting against his own. A tingling pulse passed between them the moment her skin made contact with his emblemed blue crescent. With a slight contented hum, she slowly closed her eyes. 

Beauty… tranquility… exaltation… devotion. 

‘See… this is enough. I feel you, as you feel me. I see you, and you are even more beautiful to me now than you always have been. _I_ am the only one that can determine what breaks or deserves my trust, where my faith… where my _hope_ lies. Sesshōmaru-sama, I know you and I _trust_ you. _Feeling_ your heart is a gift, one I may never understand why I was blessed to receive but I vow to always cherish it. Just being with you makes me so happy... This is _more_ than enough.’ 

In the hands of the ningen whose existence defied reason, contested everything that he had built his life upon, contradicting all that he knew to be true, the DaiYōkai closed his eyes in surrender. 

_He felt it_. 

It was fierce, it was kind, it was infinite, it was singular, it was powerful, it was gentle, it was exquisite, it was humble... and it was now his _strength,_ everlastingly. He let its profound predominance overwhelm all that he was, all that he used to be, and all he would be evermore. 

For once, there was no fear. 

He would trust it, for it was solely born from _her_ astounding grace. As she placed her trust in him, he would honor her by bestowing all of his. He let its glow fortify that which tethered their hearts, returning her warmth with the mighty fire she had ineffably kindled. Her astonished gasp effectively set his gaze upon her dazzling elegance. His eyes unabashedly devoured the beauty before him, meticulously memorizing each stunning facet discernible at this privileged closeness. Her eyes tenderly opened, and there he saw all that he felt for her, all that his soul accepted, all that his heart longed for, reflecting back at him. 

She was right... It was more than enough. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> A huge THANK YOU to each and every reader!! 
> 
> This one was heavy, and admittedly made me cry while writing... That being said I hope you enjoy and share my elation at SessRin's incredible love story being made Canon!! I am having the absolute time of my life writing these oneshots. 
> 
> I sincerely am humbled by all the support this series has received thus far!! My heart is so full.
> 
> Much love and joy to you all! 🦋♥️


End file.
